Gym Ladies

There's certain types of women who go to the gym
There's the ones who talk incessantly about their amazing apartment
in Stuytown in the complex where 10,000 other people live
and you just want to tell them
they're the kind of people who ruin the city for the rest of us
The ones who complain about other people's weddings
and want to take over and plan it all
but it's not your wedding
The less self-observed friend says
There's the ones who always wear a thong
and it gets to the point where you start to recognize these women
not by their faces but by their butts
There's the older women who are so skinny and fit
but their skin is sagging and you can't look because
it feels too much like the Holocaust
And the ones who are just always naked
They stand in front of the mirror
blow drying their hair
bare and naked other than the towel that's draped over their shoulders
They walk up and down the locker room in completely nudity
while the more self-conscious ones
head into the tiny bathroom stall to change their clothes
where no eyes can spot their little imperfections
I'm not one of these women
I don't know what kind of woman I am