Ease your child into the world of playground,
Ahem, the world of semi-supervised playground,
With a simple series of charming disclaimers.
Taking too long on the swing?
Practice whistling whilst casting your sights to the heavens
When the chains are grabbed, shout, "Threat level Orange!"
Ringing bells during an excellent game of Splicing Dandelions?
Run to the picnic tables, duck, and cover
When hauled out, protest that Room 8 is the 99cents!
Cornered in the corridor
By a teenager with a backpack and a big gun?
Bring him the good news that Mysteries Abound
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