MAKING A SPACE IN MYSELF

making a space in myself.

not a whole room but a portion

that’s ready. a place I can go

to rest or remember no matter

where I find my body went.

a stillness that could hold something

if something came along

that I wanted to hold.

I could fill it now with wine

or magazine articles I read once

that told me how to be some other way.

and I know one or another of my worries

would happily pay the rent

even month-to-month

but I think I’ll wait.

Little by little

Too many periodicals,
would rather be the unaware affected 
trickle-downed and not be frumpily tracing its lineage,
hearing thought monetised  
before it splits off and multiplies -
- but the beach hotel, on a cliff eroding would sooner flop into the sea
before wonder comes and 
shows us all up in the face of wonder.

must be
 feeling appreciated
 on the A train
selling candies
and shaping
your cheeks
   to be like Edison's

RETURNING

The place is a longing vessel, a grandfather house that we give fake tours in, mix eggs in coffee mugs, and other snacks. The kids throw grass into the sky and let the clumps rain dirt. There is always a dip in comfort, serotonin – because the place is of incarnation, and you and I and we are bodies just embodying. Leaves and snow, dead animals on the road, green Kmart long john. There will always be new things. Signs to tell you how. She will have her baby in June, you will be a great-grandmother. For the birthday there will be: cake and pie and ice cream. All piled on top of each other?
If I came back I would go to church, learn to sing, be a lighter martyr –
a stretcher – standing tall next to the cauldron and serving up
huge portions. 

The boy's fault

pacing back and forth
in and out of the room
as I tried to talk to you
your face turned plum
your eyes watered
she warned me I might need to duck
and I shook for an instant when I started to think maybe she was right
but you stomped away
and avoided eye contact
fuming
And in your eyes it must be
my fault
for your lack of communication
my fault
you didn't listen
my fault
when I warned you of this outcome
my fault
and I'm willing to help you fix it
my fault
and you just shrug your shoulders
my fault
and you sulk
my fault
and the rest of us look around the table at each other
in exhaustion
Your fault
the problem isn't being solved
Your fault
this happened not mine

Hey kid, grow up.