Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Texas Hold Em'

On some days

I sit by her side when shes got stars in her eyes wishing for you to come around

some days, you're all she thinks about 

combining past experience with present circumstance 

but it leaves the psyche confused

and the libido a little less then amused

when  you're in her thoughts rotation.

 

And it isn't fair how you taunt her with your butterfly wings,

they shine in your eyes when you smile,

she says, she is always trying to make you smile

she would tickle you, if you didn't hate it

but she is mesmerized  by your fire, no matter the tone

she says your voice seduces her from across the room

it bellows...

           inside of her.. 

it echoes..

           in her darkness, 

each vibration, a crack in her defenses

and i'm sure she would lay down her arms, 

if you set down yours

if you'd let go of the memory

the mistakes made in a transitional state

when her life was heavy 

she was still learning to carry the weight

and along you came

at a meteoric rate

seemingly uninterested in anything  else but self

 seeming to be jumping from one relationship into the next and she couldn't get down like that 

back then

 

ok

yes

     i know

it wasn't that much time ago

 but it was time enough for her to earn a little extra and get her shit together

so she'd have real time for you and not that bullshit that you accepted

she just wanted to be able to treat you better

but you took it as an insult, to say it was all her fault, thats more of a cop out

cause if you wanted to see her

                              wouldn't you have gone with her?

taken her home, not sent her out drunken with some folks she really didn't know?

not that anything happened

but it just so happens that you never ever asked her if she knew them

 i don't mean to throw salt on a wound but

its just something you should consider, 

personal responsibility in the choices we make

go a long way to shaping the perception of others

but she doesn't seem to want any others

she just wants to be with you

I think she's confused, she says,

(her) heart is begging for answers

but  (i) brain doesn't have a clue        what to tell her                              

                       when                                                          she says

her  third eye's vision is clouded

 when its gaze lands on you 

cause

this camaraderie is so damn comfortable yet the nonchalance is

smothering

 she keeps being a friend when there's clearly more between you

you keep going along,  all business as usual, and i'm sure you know exactly what you do when you do what you doin

whatever it is, 

please for  "my friend's" sake 

either go all in

or step away from the table.

-JSC 2014

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